


Only For Us

by itsthedetails



Category: Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: F/M, First Time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-13
Updated: 2012-04-13
Packaged: 2017-11-03 14:27:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/382325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsthedetails/pseuds/itsthedetails
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the Girl on Fire Comment Fic Prompt: Catching Fire AU (no Quarter Quell). Katniss is set to begin her duties as a victor, and her virginity has fetched a record price, but she won't let her first time happen that way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Only For Us

Katniss wakes in a dim room. She hears the low hum of the projection screen displaying a view of clear, blue skies and the faint noises of people outside the door. She sits up abruptly realizing that, yes, she can hear, with _both_ ears.

After being separated from Peeta in the Hovercraft and knocked out, they must have brought her to the medical wing at the Training Center. There are doctors and nurses in and out of her room, though none of them ever acknowledge her attempts to ask what is going on? Whatever they have done to her she feels as though she is as good as new.

A doctor in a stark white jacket gives her the all clear, and she is returned to their suite of rooms in the Training Center. Effie is babbling away about schedules and victor interviews, but Katniss can't be bothered to keep up. Finally, she cuts her off mid-sentence. "Where is Peeta? Is he alright?"

Effie pauses and hesitates for a moment too long before she's fluttering about again. "He's still in the medical wing, he'll be back soon. After all we can't do victor interviews without both victors." She pats at her lavender wig, looking like she is trying to remember something, but then starts to shoo her to her room. "Off with you now. Wash and be ready for Cinna in twenty minutes."

*** 

The first time she sees Peeta after the Arena on the night of their first Victors' interview he is dressed in a sharp suit and his blond hair is perfectly coifed. She notices that even though he steps toward her with a brilliant smile he wobbles and limps slightly. It seems that Capitol medicine can fix her hearing, but not Peeta's leg. The prosthetic allows him to do everything he did before, though Katniss thinks it's just one more the thing on a long list of things the Capitol has already taken from him. 

*** 

The next few days are filled with interviews, dinners, and cocktail parties. All the Capitol citizens that rooted for them--specifically the ones that sponsored them--expect a chance to meet them. Haymitch is back to his drinking and Effie spends more time basking in the attention and fanfare than she does explaining where they are headed next, that Katniss sticks as close to Peeta as possible. After all, they are supposed to be in love. 

After so many days huddled together in their cave trying to keep each alive; she is still confused about her feelings for him. Peeta is the one that can calm her when things get overwhelming; he holds her hand when she doesn't think she can take one more question and when he looks into her eyes she thinks maybe she really did fall in love in the Arena. Despite her own confusion, she knows without a shadow of a doubt that what Peeta feels was never a strategy. 

When the nightmares about Rue, Cato, the mutts and all the other terrible things that have happened aren't keeping her up at night; trying to sort out her feelings for Peeta is. She keeps thinking that if she can just get home, get back to where everything is familiar to her, she'll be able to straighten it all out.

Her victor duties in the Capitol are almost done, save for the culminating celebration tonight and then some sort of smaller--intimate is the word Effie uses--banquet tomorrow night, then she'll be going home. She just has to make it through until then.

*** 

Cinna comes with her dress for tonight's party. Effie has briefed them about what tonight's celebration entails, but Katniss hasn't really been listening. The most she took away from what is said is the wealthiest and most important people are going to be there tonight and she has to be on her best behavior. 

After Effie finishes with her instructions, Peeta disappears into his room, leaving Katniss alone for the first time in days. It doesn't seem to matter too much because her prep team and Cinna arrive a short time later, but Katniss is utterly aware of how she misses his presence beside her. What seems like hours later, though it is not quite that long, she is dressed. For the first time, Cinna has arranged her hair free and flowing around her shoulders. Her make up is simple, gold eyeliner--similar to how Cinna himself wears his own golden tattoos--rosy cheeks and neutral lips. Her dress is a thing of beauty. Floor-length gold sequins, a neckline that conceals a bust she doesn't quite have and a near non-existent backline that shows off the expanse of smooth, polished skin of her back. 

She finds herself staring in the mirror wondering who this girl staring back is.

When it is time to go, she can't help, but wonder what Peeta will think when he sees her. The thought disappears, though, the moment she lays eyes on him. He's dressed in a perfectly tailored, crisp black suit with a fine gold thread to match her dress stitched into the edge of the lapels. She smiles for real, her breath taken away by him. It seems she's not the only one affected; Peeta who is always quick with a compliment is at a loss for words. He stares at her, slack-jawed, until he finally regains himself. When he laces his fingers with hers and whispers against her ear how beautiful she is; she feels a blush burn on her cheeks. 

*** 

The first time she meets Finnick Odair, Katniss is struck by his physical beauty. He's tall and muscular and his hair gleams under the light as if it is spun with gold. She is wary of him at first, the only other victor she has met so far has been Haymitch, but she can see immediately the two are nothing alike. Despite the way he initially leers at her, she finds him to be harmless.

Finnick is unofficially assigned to escort her and Peeta through the party tonight. Katniss doesn't quite understand why they need him to make introductions, but she is happy for his company. Other than complimenting her dress, Peeta has been virtually silent since Effie briefed them on tonight's party and Katniss just isn't as good at making small talk without him to back her up.

Finnick gives them a running commentary as they approach each guest, and although each interaction is filled with pleasantries they become increasingly awkward. Peeta is stone-faced. Every time a guest reaches out to shake her hand or touches her in anyway his jaw clenches impossibly tighter and he glares at them with barely controlled-fiery rage. He is acting completely unlike himself in everyway. Katniss starts to worry their impending trip home and her lack of reciprocation of feelings toward him is finally registering. 

They meet men and women, old and young. All the guests clearly want to speak to them both, but Katniss notices most of the men take a particular interest in her while the women tend toward speaking to Peeta. Peeta never lets any of them separate them for too long and more than once walks away from a guest mid-sentence when Katniss is pulled too far from him.

Finnick chats easily, clearly familiar with all the guests. However, while he is certainly nothing less than charming when he speaks to someone, Katniss notices a blankness behind his eyes whenever he interacts with the Capitol citizens. There is definitely something there that she just can't put her finger on. Surprisingly, Katniss finds herself powering through, her mantra of just making it through the night and then she can go home making it easier to smile and laugh.

Some of the men she's introduced to are quite friendly, while others set Katniss on edge, but all the Capitol people are so foreign to her it doesn't seem any different then any of the other people they have met through the week. 

Finally, the night is over. Effie deposits them back in their suite of rooms and the first thing Katniss does is kick the heels she has been made to wear off. She collapses on the couch in the common area with relief. Peeta hasn't moved. He stares at her with a blank expression. 

"What is wrong with you? You've barely said a word all night?"

Her question sets something off in him and he sheds his jacket angrily and leaves it crumpled on the floor, tossing his tie on top of it. 

He stands over her, his eyes burning with anger. "How can you act like nothing is wrong? How could smile and talk to all those people like they weren't bidding on you? I would have thought after everything, the reaping, the Arena, the last thing you'd be is okay with this!"

Her brow crinkles in frustration and confusion. What is he talking about? "Bidding? What do you mean?"

Some of the fire seeps from his expression, but he is still rigid with tension. "Didn't you hear what Effie said about this party? Didn't you listen to what Haymitch told us about it? Don't you remember all the things we've heard about Finnick? Why do you think he was specifically assigned to introduce us? He's been through this very thing."

Her stomach sinks like a lead balloon, her mind hasn't caught up to what Peeta is saying, but she instinctively knows it is nothing good. 

When she doesn't respond, he gets angry again, but not at her. "The Capitol is whoring us out Katniss! Just like they did to Finnick and all the other 'desirable' victors. Tonight's party was an auction of sorts, all those guests with their fancy clothes and buckets of money are right this minute in a bidding war to win the right to take our virginities!"

A horrified gasp barely squeaks out of her throat and she recoils back as if she's been burned. All of the saddened, veiled attempts Effie made at explaining tonight's party filter to the surface of her memory and all the lurid rumors about Finnick rush back.

Peeta crumples beside her on the couch, but she can't take him being so close right now. She shoves herself up from her seated position and stumbles down the hall to her room.

*** 

The first thought that comes to her mind when the haze of revulsion passes is, how could she not have seen it? She pulls off the dress that not so long ago made her feel so pretty, but now only makes her feel dirty and throws it to the floor. 

Cinna. He must have known too. Logically, she knows there is nothing he could have done to stop this, but she's mad that he let her walk in there so unprepared. She's mad at him, at Haymitch, at Effie, at all the Capitol citizens that don't give a second thought at using her again for their own amusement.

She feels betrayed by them all because this time she didn't see it coming. 

She sits in the dim light for an unnamable amount of time. At first she thought there must be a way out of this, but after the Games she knows there is no way she can evade the Capitol again, not without putting everyone she loves at even more risk. 

Thinking about a stranger touching her, invading her in the most personal way makes her ill to the point she thinks she might actually throw up. The more she thinks about it the worse she feels until she can't stand to be cooped up in her room any longer. Hastily, she throws on the tank and pants she sleeps in and hurries from the room.

*** 

She expects Peeta to have gone to bed long ago, but he's still right where she left him. He looks so defeated curled over on the couch, his head resting in the cradle of his palms. She'd almost forgotten; they are forcing this onto him as well. She thinks it might even be worse for him, while she can lie there and--hopefully--block it all out, he'll have to perform.

She walks over to him and sinks onto the couch next to him, the flat of her palm coming up to the strong curve of his shoulder and then slipping down to rest against his back.

He inhales sharply and then slides his arms around her waist, fitting them together so her face rests in the crook of his neck. They sit in silence holding one another, trying not to think about what will happen tomorrow night.

At this point she just feels sad. She never really thought about who she would lose her virginity to--maybe she just assumed it would be Gale--there was never really any other option, at least before the Games. Now though, she wants more than anything for it to be her choice. 

Lifting her head, she pulls back so she can see Peeta's face; she doesn't pull from his embrace though so she is close enough to see the pale freckles sprinkled across the bridge of his nose and she knows. No matter what happens tomorrow, she is losing her virginity tonight.

*** 

She doesn't know what to say so she stares into his eyes for a long moment. Then, she decides she doesn't really need to say anything and closes the short distance between their lips. They kissed many times during the Games, but this one is just for them. Peeta's mouth is warm and soft. He kisses back, sliding his tongue against hers. They kiss until she is gasping for breath and has to pull away.

"There's nothing we can do about tomorrow, but we can make tonight ours."

The rest of the tension melts from his shoulders and he nods. He kisses her soundly, then twists his fingers in hers and pulls her to her feet. He leads her down the hall to his bedroom and shuts the door behind them. 

They stare at each other, unsure of how to begin, until Peeta pulls her into him to kiss her again. They settle onto the bed, their mouths never breaking apart. They kiss for awhile, her hand at the base of his neck and his on her waist. Eventually, she gets bold, her hand sliding over his shoulder and down his arm to entwine their fingers. She pushes his hand under her shirt, nudging him up toward her breast. It doesn't take more than that to entice him. He pushes her shirt up, cups her breast, giving her a gentle squeeze before teasing her nipple with his strong fingers.

A pleased sigh shutters out of her and Peeta takes it as sign to keep going. He lifts her shirt off over her head and instead of leaning back in to kiss her he goes lower and licks her nipple, teasing the pebbled nub with his teeth. The sensation is overwhelming and her back arches involuntarily. He's gentle, but firm and with each little broken moan that escapes her, it drags a deep groan from him.

She can feel the hardness of his cock pressing against her thigh and she shutters at the thought of what is to come. She grows impatient; always demanding. She pulls off Peeta's dress shirt and the undershirt below; running her fingers over his firm, defined muscle. They were hungry while in the Arena, but they were also pushed to the limit physically and it shows in Peeta's physique.

Peeta's fingers graze the waist of her pants, hesitant to go further. She appreciates that he gives her the chance to stop or slow him down, but her skin is aflame, and she wants more _now_.

She shifts up, forcing his hand lower and breathes his name in a rough whisper. He abandons his gentlemanly act and slides her pants and underwear off in one swift movement. She shivers, a bolt of nervous anticipation running up her spine. 

The tips of his fingers are callused and she feels like they leave a line burned into her skin as he traces down her belly and between thighs. 

She had very little privacy in their tiny home, so she has little experience even doing this to herself that every touch seems to ignite a new feeling in her. When Peeta's fingers slip over her clit and slide into her slit, she's surprise to realize how wet she is. He spreads the wetness, thumbing her clit until she's panting hard. The thought crosses her mind that he may have done this before with someone from back home, but before it can really take form she pushes it away. It doesn't matter what he did with other girls, he's with her now.

She's not sure if he caught a glimpse of her thoughts in her expression or if he simply leaned in to kiss her as he pressed a finger into her, but he swallows her gasp as his finger slides up into her. 

She tenses, not ready for the feeling of having something inside her, but as he slowly drags his finger out and presses back in, she lets out a shuttering breath and relaxes. It feels weird, but good. Her whole body tensing and contracting, as Peeta adds a second and then third finger, stretching her until she feels like she will burst apart.

They're sweating and she can feel the heat rolling off his body, the hot length of his cock against her thigh as his fingers work her over. She's been so caught up in how he's making her feel; she almost forgot this is as much for him as it is for her.

She shifts, touches his chest, his arms, catches his gaze. His eyes are intense, and she kisses him hard and sloppy. Pushing him back onto his knees, she reaches out to undo his pants. Her fingers graze over his bulge and she can see the muscles in his stomach tense and release. Quickly, she shoves the pants and his briefs down his thighs, he has to stand to get them off completely, but he's back between her thighs immediately.

She takes a long moment to look at him, like she wouldn't on the bank of the river. His arms are solid; his biceps flex to hold his weight over her. His torso is lean with muscle, tapering down to a slim waist. His cock is long and thick, hanging heavy between his legs, shiny at the tip. She's never seen a hard dick before, but she thinks his is an exception, not the rule.

Without thinking, she reaches out and circles her hand around the length. He grunts low and guttural at her touch. His skin is hot, but underneath the velvety softness, he is thick and hard.

Tentatively, she squeezes, moving her hand up and down, like she's heard she's supposed to do. Before she can find a rhythm though, he grabs her wrist. She thinks she's hurt him--done something wrong--but he doesn't pull her hand away. 

"I don't think I'll last if you do that. Are you ready?"

He's trembling over her. Ready or not, she wants him inside her now. Knowing she could never voice the thought, she just nods. He lowers himself, wraps his fingers around her own and they both guide his dick to her entrance. His hips stutter, like his body wants to shove forward and he's making it go slow. 

It hurts as he enters her, she feels stretched wider than she can go, but the noises Peeta is making make her want to pull him in closer, tighter, completely inside her. Eventually, his hips are pressed snug to hers and the feeling of utter connection is more than she can handle. Her hips push up telling him he can move. He pulls back slightly and thrusts shallowly at first. He's clumsy and can't find a rhythm, he jerks erratically, but it doesn't hurt her.

There's a tightness building low in her belly, she moves her hips with him, trying to find the rhythm that will make that tightness expand and explode. She can feel it, her muscles contracting rapidly, she mumbles, "come on, come on, come on."

She's getting close, but just as she feels that whatever she's racing toward is within reach, Peeta goes taught above her, his hips jerking spastically as he shoots hot and wet inside her, calling her name. 

She loses whatever was just out of her grasp, but she can feel the heat of Peeta's release inside her and it gives her a heady feeling of satisfaction that she did that to him.

Peeta has rolled to her side and is breathing heavy next to her. Her body still wants its own release and her fingers find their way to her clit, pressing hard at the sensitive spot. Her eyes have fluttered shut, but they fly open when she hears Peeta groan, long and deep.

He's looking at where her fingers are pressed between her thighs and she pulls her hand away quickly, her cheeks burning in embarrassment. 

He twists quickly up again, gently brushing damp strands of hair from her forehead.

"No, no, don't be…I didn't mean you had to stop. God, you don't have to stop, you look…" His thought trails off and his eyes go foggy like he's picturing her touching herself again. 

She squirms, and his gaze refocuses. He slides down so his chest is flat on the bed and his face is only centimeters from where her fingers just were. Her breath catches when she realizes what he is going to do and instinctively she tries to closes her thighs.

His body is in the way though. He slides his arms under her legs, bending his elbows so he can rest his palms flat on her hipbones, his shoulders spreading her thighs wide.

He hesitates; obviously not quite sure how to begin, he drops a soft kiss to the inside of her thigh, mouths something that might be 'love you so much' against her skin and presses his mouth to her clit.

She's startled by the initial feeling, his mouth is warm and wet and in such a personal place. This seems even more intimate than when he was inside her only a few minutes ago. He licks at her clit and then shifts to press his tongue inside of her. She gasps, thrusts her hips up, knocking his head back.

He tries to back off, but she grabs at the back of his head and holds him to her. "Don't stop."

He licks into her again, pressing his tongue inside--she realizes, tasting himself in her. His mouth is hot against her folds and in what seems like seconds she is back on the brink of what she lost before. Everything around her is Peeta; she can see him, smell him, hear him, and feel him. She's lost control of her body, her hips jerk erratically and intelligible sounds spill from her lips. 

She feels like her bow string, pulled to its tightest point and just when she thinks the bow will break, the string is released and she is flying. Her toes curl, her back arches, her fingers are twisted in the sheets and her breath is shuttering like there isn't enough air in the room.

The tension melts out of her body, like butter in a heated pan and Peeta moves up next to her, lifting her so she lays draped across his chest. She feels boneless, like if she tried to stand her knees would give way and she'd collapse to the floor. 

They lay in silence, just the sounds of their breathing between them. Peeta's fingers trace her spine and she realizes as she presses her ear tighter to his chest that the beat she hears is only for her. 

She doesn't want to lose this--wishes they could just stay in this room like this forever--knowing as soon as they leave, the Capitol will own them again. She tries to cuddle closer to ward off her dark thoughts. Peeta seems to understand and holds her closer. She can't let it go, especially now that her brain has finally caught up to her heart.

She tips her head back so she can see his face. "No matter what they make us do, no matter what happens tomorrow or any of the days after that, I want you to know that I'm yours. Not because of the Capitol, or anything else, but because I want to be."

She can feel his breath catch in his chest and his eyes soften and glisten in the dim light. She knows he loves her, knows he has long before the Games, but now he knows she loves him back and before he can say anything to ruin the moment she leans up and places a soft kiss to his lips. 

Fin


End file.
